Hot Memoir Writing Tips from the Experts-Part IV

 

 GREAT TIPS FOR YOU!!

This is the final segment on FREE Hot Memoir Writing Tips. If you haven’t already begun your memoir writing project, there is no better time than today!

Our past three posts have offered beneficial tips from some of the top experts in memoir writing: Joy DeKok, Darlene Eichler and Denis Ledoux. We hope that you have found these suggestions to be extremely helpful in your writing journey.

All you need to do is to begin by writing your first story about any memory that pops into your mind. Add to your collection one story at a time. There is no need to write in chronological order, as attempting to do this can suddenly prevent forward movement of your project. Capture story after story and sort them into the appropriate order as you complete them.

Below are my special FREE tips.

Mary Anne’s Tip #1:

Even if your parents and grandparents have passed away, try to include stories about them.

Many people have said to me, “It’s just me. There is no one to interview. Everyone else has passed away.”  I tell them that family history has to begin somewhere. What you can do is to write anything distinctive that you can recall about those folks--physical traits, careers, family stories, incidents, what it was like growing up with these people influencing your life--anything that you would like to share with future generations. And then continue on with your own stories. That way, their history lives on, as does yours.

If there are other living relatives available for interview--perhaps aunts, uncles, cousins--try to spend some time finding out what they can recall. You may discover stories you would never have otherwise known.

A particular individual, Sandi, took my workshop series and then organized a “Cousins Weekend” in a distant state, a location that would be somewhat central to where the group of cousins lived. They all shared the same set of grandparents, and each cousin had the opportunity to share stories that they recalled about the grands. What a special way to gain insight via a variety of perspectives! The cousins said goodbye at the end of that weekend with a collection of great stories, as well as the opportunity to reconnect, catch up and get to know each other better as adults. I love that idea!

Mary Anne’s Tip #2:

Take your time. Don’t feel as though you have to rush through the project. Savor the memories, and don’t let the task stress you. It should be enjoyable!

Your story really does matter. If left untold, it will be forever lost. Don’t allow the enormity of the overall task to overwhelm and paralyze you. Understand that this will be an ongoing project for a period of time--perhaps years. Plan to steadily devote reasonable blocks of time in order to progress. Utilize holiday gatherings to record the recollections of family members.

You don’t have to recall and write about every single breath you have ever breathed in life. Carefully pick and choose stories that would benefit your readers--children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews and future generations! Give them a sense of who we were and how we lived.

Try to include some humorous situations that you have encountered in life. Everyone can certainly benefit from laughter, and I know that if we really think back, we all have some amusing events lurking in the past.

Remember that WRITING YOUR FAMILY STORIES will build a BRIDGE from GENERATION TO GENERATION!

Begin your memoir writing journey today by taking the 7 simple steps described in 7 Easy Steps to Memoir Writing: Build a Priceless Legacy One Story at a Time!

 Visit http://www.awriterspresence.com for links to all formats including print, Kindle and Nook!

JUST A HINT:

Book blog, http://www.abookfeast4u.blogspot.com has a new post about a Vietnam war memoir entitled A Soldier's Journey by George Graves. He writes about his time spent serving our country in a war that not everyone could support. Check it out...

Hot Memoir Writing Tips from the Experts-Part III

As we continue our series on FREE memoir writing tips from selected top experts, we warmly welcome Denis Ledoux, guru of memoir writers and instructors.

 

Denis Ledoux

Denis wears multiple hats in his roles as writer, educator, teacher, autobiography co-author, memoir ghostwriter, memoir writing coach, editor and publisher at The Memoir Network.

I have fond memories of my time spent several years ago in his Certified Lifewriting Instructor program. Denis knows, from his many years of experience in this field, what works in memoir writing and what doesn’t. Enjoy the hot tips that he so generously shares with us today!

Tip #1 from Denis Ledoux:

Persevere. Keep writing.

I want to alert you to a feeling that all writers are eventually subject to. It's habituation. After you have been writing for some time, it can set in and suck the life out of your writing.

Starting to write is a bit like a relationship that begins with some enthusiasm and energy. We can't wait to be with the one we love and we feel any absence acutely. Then after a while, we become less passionate about our mate and might begin to wonder if we are still in love. (I'm writing broadly here) Yes, you most likely are still in love--only perhaps less enamored. What is happening is that you have habituated yourself (which can sap romance!) and now you are doing the work of getting to know one another at a really deeper level that will permit you to deepen your love for one another.

Writing is like that in some ways. At first, we are passionate about our writing. It seems that we are doing so well, are so clever. "This is a great story!" we tell ourselves. Then after a while, with habituation,  comes the let down and we are in a world of editing, or changing and tweaking and rewriting. It's like taking the garbage out and changing the baby and going to work. Where's the romance?

As in parenting, where we need to have a steadfast vision of our goal of raising a child to adulthood, in writing we need to envision finishing our task, of presenting the readers with a book that will better his/her life in some way--if only to regale the reader with a tale well told. Sometimes the writing is fun, and sometimes it is less so. Sometimes, writing is plain hard and boring. We want to do anything but. However, if you want to win the prize you need to be steadfast—despite whatever feeling du jour you may be experiencing, whatever doldrums are affecting you.

So my advice is: you feel like writing, write: you don't feel like writing, write. Without that commitment to writing regardless of your feelings, you may not succeed at finishing your memoir.

Denis makes a great point about the commitment aspect. In his program, he taught us that we should share with our workshop students that “All important obligations are entered in our calendars.” (And you probably thought I wasn’t paying attention, Denis!) He recommended that folks determine how much time they can allocate to their writing projects on a weekly basis and schedule that time along with all other appointments.

I love this idea because I rely so heavily on my calendar to keep me organized, and carving out very specific writing time works well for me. It’s a bonus when I can take my current writing project to my favorite spot on the beach, set up my little portable office and go to work. There is something soothing and inspiring about the sound of the crashing waves and the seagulls soaring by that makes the words magically flow. Find your own special location and enter your writing appointment on the calendar!

Someone in one of my workshops said, "What if I schedule it, and then when I get to that date and time, I don't feel inspired to write?" Well, my response to this is that you have two choices. You can reschedule it on your calendar and hopefully land on a better day (not recommended), or you can try to eliminate any negativity that is creeping in and at least try. Relax, play some old favorite music and see where your memory takes you! Start with just a thought...just a few words about a particular memory, and you may be surprised at the momentum that picks up as your fingers work their magic on the keyboard or the pen in your hand takes on a life of its own, even though you initially thought you weren't feeling inspired to write!

  

Tip #2 from Denis Ledoux:

Don't forget your memoir needs action, too.

Too many new memoirists undervalue the role of plot in their story. Just because you're writing a life story doesn't mean you can ignore action.

Listen to how a child tells a story. It is all action. He did this and she did that. Nuances of character and setting are immaterial to the child. It's what happens that counts. Our reliance on action, on plot, doesn't wane as we grow older, but our ways of making use of it grow more sophisticated.

Something must happen in your story to retain the interest of your reader—so pay attention to the plot line of your memoir, to the dramatized build up of what happens.

The amount of action necessary to retain interest varies enormously according to the sensibility and the education of different readers. Someone who prefers reading about ghosts and unpredictable spooky occurrences (such as in a Stephen King story) will not find the action lines of English psychological novelist Virginia Woolf very captivating. But it remains true that readers--both of pulp fiction and of serious writing--need some sort of action to move the story along. Although much of Virginia Woolf's action is interiorized, it is action nonetheless and counts as plot.

If your memoir story line lacks external action then look inward for your action, but do not make the mistake of undervaluing action in your development.

Always keep plotting in mind--whether exterior action or interior struggle. Not an easy line to walk. Make something happen in your memoir. The "hero" is not constrained to conquer and vanquish the exterior world. The interior world is also a worthy theater of personal war. 

This lack of plotting of some sort is a major mistake new writers make.

Good luck with your writing!

Denis Ledoux

Denis certainly has an eloquent way of making a point, doesn't he? We can all agree that if the only information we provide our readers is a collection of facts and dates, the stories would produce nothing but a gigantic yawn fest.

Think about the particular story you are telling. What makes it unique? Is there a story behind the story--perhaps something unusual that led up to that event? Give the reader incentive to continue reading by intriguing them, but yet remaining within the boundaries of honesty.

 

Thank you so much to Denis Ledoux for visiting with us today and sharing his wonderful tips!

ABOUT DENIS LEDOUX:

Denis Ledoux has been helping people to write memoirs since 1988 via his Memoir Network (formerly the Soleil Lifestory Network). Visit www.TheMemoirNetwork.com for free materials and a newsletter subscription. His blog, The Memoir Writer's Blog,  (http://thememoirnetwork.com/memoir-blog/) is chock full of useful and motivational material for the memoir writer. Query to send a guest post.

A stop at the www.TheMemoirNetwork.com store will introduce you to the variety of helpful publications written by Denis Ledoux, including his classic Turning Memories into Memoirs, a “must have” book for the memoir writer!

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Looking for a good summer read or a great Father's Day present (for a Dad or for yourself)? Please take a moment to visit http://www.abookfeast4u.blogspot.com to learn about an intriguing book entitled The Toppled Pawn by Pawleys Island, SC resident, Robert O'Brien. This story of corporate greed and industrial sabotage will glue your eyes to the book until the final page is turned.

And if you are inspired to write your life stories, but just don't quite know where and how to begin, 7 Easy Steps to Memoir Writing: Build a Priceless Legacy One Story at a Time! is your ticket to jump-starting a successful memoir project. Visit http://www.awriterspresence.com for links to all formats including print, Kindle and Nook.

See you next week with more expert memoir writing tips…

Here’s to your best writing!

Mary Anne Benedetto

Author and Certified Lifewriting Instructor

http://www.awriterspresence.com

Hot Memoir Writing Tips from the Experts-Part II

Mary Anne Benedetto

One of my most passionate goals is to encourage and influence as many people as possible to capture and preserve their life stories to share with others. How do grandchildren, great-grands, nieces, nephews and beyond even know who we were and how we lived if we don't provide them with a tangible document that they can read and digest?

I have invited Darlene Eichler, an author, speaker and memoir writing instructor to help us in continuing our series on great tips for folks who are writing their life stories.

Darlene said, “Teaching memoir writing is the most rewarding teaching I have done in my career.”

Darlene’s #1 Tip:

The best memory jogger is to listen to others tell their stories. I observe reactions when students are listening to their classmates. Heads shake in agreement or amazement. Sometimes there are smiles and, at others, tears. Later they talk about how that story, or a part of it, brought back a story buried deep in their memories.

I have witnessed this on countless occasions, so I’m right there with Darlene on this suggestion.

In Week #2 of my workshop sessions, people read aloud the story of a memory that they have written during the prior week. Frequently, someone will comment, “Oh, that reminds me of something I haven’t thought about in years!”

Taking a memoir writing class or workshop series and hearing the stories of others is an enormous benefit. Not only might it resurrect otherwise forgotten memories, but it creates a special bond amongst the class members or workshop groups that tends to make them want to remain connected.

Darlene’s #2 Tip:

Avoid being boring. Grab your readers’ attention with the opening sentence. Don’t be afraid to embellish…it brings out the “flavor” of your memoir.

This is also an excellent point from Darlene. If you merely supply the readers with facts and dates, they will be yawning so hard that you will likely lose them before they reach the good parts.

I’ll share a hard, cold fact. People want to be entertained when they read. You may say, “I’m not here to entertain them. I want to tell them about family history and the highlights of my life. Maybe my experiences haven’t been all that exciting. How am I supposed to entertain them?”

Even the sweetest, simplest stories can be enhanced by offering specific details that you recall. For instance, my Grandmother Bolick was an avid vegetable gardener. Which of these examples really tells you something?

Example #1-Grandma Bolick loved to grow vegetables and work in her garden.

Example #2-Driving along the winding two lane road toward Grandfather Mountain in western North Carolina, travelers would often spot Grandma Bolick tending to her enormous vegetable garden, located just across the road from her house.

No store-bought produce could match the flavor of her homegrown rhubarb, green beans, potatoes, cucumbers and corn, and she was dedicated to gardening until she reached her late seventies.

Never a sun goddess and always protective of her fair skin, her gardening attire usually included a big, old- fashioned bonnet, a long skirt or pants, long sleeved shirt and sometimes even an apron. She believed that growing food from the ground up was smart, economical, delicious and healthy. If she could grow it, then buying it in the grocery store wasn’t even an option.

So...give them something solid. Give them a feel for exactly what was happening and where. What did it look like? What is the story behind the fact? Enhance the experience of your reader by making them feel as though they are right there observing.

Thank you so much to Darlene Eichler for her memoir writing tips! Do you see how just writing this blog post brought back special memories of my grandmother? I have to admit, however, that somehow Grandma Bolick's gardening gene didn't make its way into my DNA. I pretty much kill anything I try to grow from soil!

About this week's Memoir Tipster, Darlene Eichler:

Darlene Eichler, who uses the pen name, Nan Turner for most of her books, is a native of Southwest

Darlene Eichler

Virginia.  Growing up in the Appalachian Mountains has influenced her writing more than any other factor.  She is a graduate of Radford University and the University of South Carolina.  Her career in teaching began as an elementary teacher, and she moved on to positions as a reference librarian in college libraries.  After retirement, she concentrated on writing. Darlene is known for the “Rose Series” and “Trunk Tales.” She has inspired many, through teaching memoir writing, to preserve their life stories to share with loved ones.

She shares a home in North Myrtle Beach with her husband and Miss Boots, a black and white cat featured in several of her books. Darlene has twelve grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren.

Connect with Darlene at http://www.darlene-eichler.blogspot.com!

One more subtle hint:

If you are serious about jump-starting your memoir project, 7 Easy Steps to Memoir Writing: Build a Priceless Legacy One Story at a Time! can give you the tools you need. Visit http://www.awriterspresence.com for links to all formats.

We'll be back next week with more tips from memoir experts so don't forget to return! 

 All the best,
Mary Anne Benedetto
Author and Certified Lifewriting Instructor


P. S. Visit http://www.abookfeast4u.blogspot.com for posts featuring fabulous books and their authors. Come on over and get acquainted!

Hot Memoir Writing Tips from the Experts

Writing our life stories--preserving our family history to share with future generations! It certainly sounds like a great idea. It makes perfectly good sense on an intellectual level, but how about from a practical standpoint? Hmmm…

Questions immediately arise, with doubts seeping in not far behind:

·         With so many stories covering a multitude of years, how can I possibly decide what needs to be included?

·         How do I make sure I can even remember the important highlights?

·         Who will be interested in reading what I’ve written?

·         I’ve never been an especially good writer. How can I write stories that are interesting and worthy of being passed along for others to enjoy and understand who we were and how we lived?

Over the course of my next few blog posts, we will explore these topics and more to help you successfully embark and steadily progress on your memoir project.

And guess what? You don’t have to listen to me, Mary Anne Benedetto, saying, “Just do it!” I have invited a few fabulous memoir experts to join us and offer some of their excellent tips.

What’s the best part? These tips are free and our gifts to you, so there’s no excuse!

In this first segment, author and speaker, Joy DeKok, shares some of her special words of wisdom about legacy writing projects:

Joy’s Tip #1. Write raw, at least in the first draft. That copy is for your benefit. If there's a lot of anger or hurt involved, getting it out is good for you. Getting the written copy out so it won't anger or hurt anyone is good for everyone.

I have to completely agree with Joy. In my workshops, I always advocate writing all of the stories--even the tough ones, perhaps those events that no one else may be aware of, the stories that you have tucked away for years and hoped to bury. Writing about them can give you a new perspective on the impact that those events ultimately had on your life.

Then you can decide whether or not to include them in your final document--especially if they are hurtful to others who are living. You may even choose to write them and then send them up in smoke with a burning match. That is entirely up to you.

You do want to be particularly careful about not maligning others if you intend to publish your work. No one needs or welcomes litigation.

Great advice is to write all of your stories and then decide what will end up on the cutting room floor. 

One last note on this topic: I always say that, as difficult as it may be, forgiveness generates many benefits. Forgiveness doesn’t condone bad behavior, but it frees you from carrying the poisonous burden of bitterness in your veins.

Joy’s Tip #2. Write it the way you remember it. A lot of Legacy Keepers worry they might remember it wrong or differently than others. That's okay. Two (or more) people can experience the same event or time and record it differently due to their experience, knowledge, and intuition. It's important to get the facts as right as you can, but sometimes what you noticed that someone else didn't, is essential to your legacy.

I love this tip of Joy’s as well. It reminds me about the two sisters and one brother who attended one of my workshops. I had previously worked with spouses, but never siblings. As they began to discuss different aspects of their lives while they were growing up, they all had the most incredulous expressions on their faces. Finally one of the sisters said, “Are you talking about the same house I grew up in?”

I thought about another situation where a client’s sister asked to read his stories. After digesting them she said, “I don’t remember it that way at all.” He asked me if he should change his stories to agree with her recollections, and I said, “Absolutely not! This is the way you experienced it, and if she doesn’t agree, let her write her own version.”

It simply proves that even with the same parents, environment and household, we have experienced life as individuals and may have very different perspectives. While it can be helpful to confer with other family members about their recollections, be sure to write your own accounting. It is your unique story.

A special thank you to Joy DeKok for offering her wonderful tips today!

Joy DeKok

Joy is an author, speaker and advocate of preserving our written legacies. She has written several books, including: Your Life a Legacy, Your Life a Legacy for Kids and Your Life a Legacy for Teens.

Please visit Joy at www.booksbyjoy.com and www.joydekok.com.

Thanks so much for joining us, and we’ll be back soon with more memoir writing experts and their suggestions!

Mary Anne Benedetto

Certified Lifewriting Instructor

http://www.awriterspresence.com

7 Easy Steps to Memoir Writing: Build

a Priceless Legacy One Story at a Time!