Memorable Moments

In my last post, I wrote about long term friends from whom I had recently heard. I also connected with another friend from my California school days, and her name is Cathi. We were essentially inseparable during our school years, and she was truly like one of our family members. My brother, John, was born when I was 15 years old and my friends considered him quite the novelty at the time. Cathi was right there to give him a bottle when needed, but I don't recall whether or not she was into diaper changing. As 15 year olds, I'd say we thought that was pretty gross and should be left to the parents whenever possible.

I'll never forget the evening my parents broke the news to me that they were expecting. It was quite a shock to me (as well as to them, I believe). They sat me down and told me that Mom was pregnant, but they promised that it wouldn't interfere with my social life. Dad specifically said that I would not be expected to be a built in baby sitter. "Whew!" I thought. "I'm glad to hear that!!" But something magical happened when that little guy was born. I really didn't mind helping with him. I spent many an hour with him cuddled against my neck, as I sat with him in the rocking chair in his nursery, singing sweet little songs to him to help him go to sleep. It turned out to be good training for me because when my own dear son was born when I was twenty, I felt reasonably confident about infant care. I have to laugh because Fred and I sat in Magiquest at Broadway at the Beach last night, chatting with my brother, John, as his three children raced around with their wands--doing whatever it is that kids are doing in there with those wands, and John's patient wife, Amy, was dashing around attempting to keep track of their three children and a nephew! It's rather mind boggling to realize how much time has elapsed since John was that little toddler who was always so curious about what his sister and her friends were doing. He's turned out to be a fine family man and someone that I am proud to call a good friend. And I always love to hear from Cathi.

Cape May was a fabulous time once again this year. The photo at the top of this post is from that location. I was able to produce a great deal of writing for my second novel during the trip. Once I get on a roll with the thoughts and ideas, it just flows so automatically, and hours can fly by. The Cape May Girls are making their bucket lists, naming all of the things that they would like to do before their demise. We're going to produce a booklet with a group photo on the front and individual pages with a photo of the particular person and their bucket list following. I have two participants who haven't yet turned in their bucket lists....I won't mention any names....but I hope they are almost complete. They know that I'll be hounding them before very long. As soon as I finish the three main projects I'm working on right now, I want to tackle the Bucket List booklet! It will be lots of fun to look at these booklets in the future. We had a wonderful week in Cape May, and the time seems to fly. I guess when you are spending so much time doubled over in laughter, the hours tick by quickly.

Okay, I probably shouldn't be blogging this late at night after working most of the day on a client's family history and then working on my book. I'm beginning to get drowsy and there is no telling what I'll write, so I had better sign off for today! God bless you all.

Connecting with Dear Friends

This has been a banner week for connecting with "old" friends. Don't you just love those friends who are a part of your history and although you don't see or hear from them for months or even years, when you finally have the opportunity to chat or visit, the time since your last connection is non-existent? It seems as though you just talked yesterday because you seem to pick up exactly where you left off.

If you have friendships that I just described, you are so blessed. Take a moment to call one of those special connections, and you will be uplifted by a sense of closeness that is punctuated by the unique space of your heart that is occupied by that individual.

This week, I heard from my friend, Janie. We've been friends since childhood, and although she lives in California, we touch base periodically. We'll always feel linked regardless of the miles of separation and the peaks and valleys of life that we have shared via letters, telephone calls, and e-mails. She probably doesn't know that she had a nickname in high school. She was referred to as "Hollywood" because her father was a cameraman for a movie studio and worked with many celebrities including Barbara Streisand. He was such a kind, down-to-earth guy--even though he was well acquainted with many famous people. Anyway, I'll see Janie at our 40th (you must be kidding!) class reunion in October. Our California high school class will be holding this milestone remembrance in Las Vegas, which is always interesting in itself. I hope that lots of the folks from our class will be able to attend, as it's wonderful to be able to catch up.

The other person that I heard from this week from the past was Tony, the funniest guy you'd ever want to know. We've been friends for many years, having become acquainted when Fred and I were big Siena College Basketball fans back in the days when Mike Deane was the incredible coach. Attending the games was something that we thoroughly enjoyed as a winter activity because those winters are cold and long in the Albany, NY area! It turned out, however, that becoming involved in cheering for the Siena team evolved into a cherished social activity that forged some wonderful friendships. Tony was a vital part of that scene in an era that we will never forget! The very best to you, Tony, in your retirement!!

And speaking of friend connections, I'm on my way to Cape May, NJ to meet a fabulous group of girlfriends for a few days of hilarity that we've been sharing for a week in July for almost twenty years. I'm not kidding. The eight of us never stop laughing the whole time we are there, and it's one of the most therapeutic events in my life every year. It's like a week long pajama party with bathing suits. I highly recommend this for other ladies--get a group of friends who are comical, considerate, caring and conversational and plan even a long weekend together. You'll never regret it!! Looking forward to seeing you Cape May Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For those who are working on their lifewriting projects, think back to your most favorite vacation and write about the details of that trip. Include a good, solid description of the location, surroundings, accommodations, activities, travel involved, and what made it so special. Make your readers feel as though they were right there--seeing everything you saw, participating in everything you did (okay, maybe not EVERYTHING!), eating the types of foods that you ate, describing the local culture, and bringing us along the paths that you walked. If you can locate photos from the visit, use those to refresh your memory of the details. Capture the moments!

Happy 4th of July holiday to everyone!!!!!!!!!! God bless and keep you safe this holiday weekend.

SC Writers Workshop and Shadetree-ers

South Carolina Writers Workshop:

I recently joined the SC Writers Workshop. It's a great concept with an interesting group of people, but so far I've only been able to attend one meeting. The writers submit their pages (example-a chapter from their current novel or other writing project) in advance, and the group members critique the work and then meet to discuss each submission at length. While in attendance at my first and only meeting, I sat there thinking that if I submit my work, I'll break out into a heavy sweat while they are tearing it apart--line by line! The truth is, however, that it will be beneficial to obtain feedback on the book that I'm currently writing, and when I reach the point where I am ready to allow eyes to see it, those will be the first people to have a glimpse of this little gem that I'm creating.

Shadetree-ers:

Driving along Business Highway 17 last week, I spotted a scene that brought back a vivid memory of my dad. I saw a pseudo-garage--more like a canopy where someone had erected an open air automobile repair business. It reminded me that my dad would have called this person a shadetree mechanic, or a shadetree-er as he would often say.

What is a shadetree mechanic? It is someone who works on their own vehicle in their driveway or home garage, someone who is fearless about tackling the maintenance of their own vehicle (whether or not they are truly proficient at this), and someone about whom dealerships and professional mechanics cringe because sometimes they do more damage than repair.

My recollection is that dad was sort of an automobile mechanic snob in a manner of speaking. He felt that people shouldn't be tinkering under the hood of a vehicle unless they were properly trained. Eventually, the auto makers began to design vehicles in such a way (computerized diagnostics) that many shadetree mechanics and do-it-yourselfers threw up their hands in frustration because the mechanical design made it more and more difficult for the average person to manage their own maintenance.

Dad stretched the use of the term to include anyone in any situation who was claiming to be an "expert" in any field in which they were not officially educated. For instance, if an individual was not a licensed barber or hairdresser and he or she cut the hair of relatives in his or her home, dad would refer to them as a shadetree barber or hairdresser. The example that stands out most in my mind was when he heard someone giving their interpretation of Bible passages and they were either 1) not an ordained minister or 2) he didn't happen to agree with them, then they were a shadetree theologian.

I think Dad would have been a good minister in some respects. He knew the Bible inside out and loved studying and teaching it. I don't, however, think that he would have had the patience to schmooze the occasional congregation members who tend to be chronic complainers, gossips, and instigators. He wouldn't have been able to resist the urge to tell them exactly what he was thinking! One time my husband, Fred, asked Dad why he wasn't a minister, as it was apparent that he loved talking about the Lord. He replied, "I never got the calling."

We all need to think about using the gifts and talents that we've been given in ways that glorify God. He may never call us to travel the world or be a nationally known anything, but we can touch lives every day in our own little spheres of influence and allow His light and goodness to shine through us.

For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. 2 Corinthians 4:6 (NIV)

Hoping that you're having a blessed week!!

Capturing Your Unique Story

Writing workshop:

I just finished a private workshop series with five delightful ladies, each of whom arrived at last night's session with their first story relative to a memory or series of memories. As I sat there listening to each story being read aloud, I marveled at the diverse subject matter being presented by this group. They had spent time deeply searching their memory banks for a topic or theme that they felt personally compelled to write about for their very first selection, and each was beyond impressive. Hearing the stories of others is one way to generate more and more of your own memories. This was such an endearing group, and it simply reinforces why I have chosen to teach memoir writing workshops. I enjoy seeing the looks on their faces that tells me that they now know that, in time and with effort, they can really complete this project. I love this calling!

Update on the bicycle seat situation:

If you have been following this blog, you are aware that my husband, Fred, refuses to ride his new bicycle because he believes that the seat was designed for something other than the male anatomy. At one point, he threatened to place a pillow on the seat in order to ride the bike. (If he does that, he's riding in this neighborhood ALONE!)

When I was at Huntington Beach last week, the sight of a bicycle whose owner must be related to Fred, was almost more than I could fathom. I was so wishing I had brought my camera. The owner of this bike had placed a large, thick chunk of yellow foam rubber on the seat and secured it with miles of duct tape. Okay, let's give him credit for being innovative, but I must say that I've never seen anything quite like this.

Signing off for now. Think about writing your stories to share with loved ones--your unique experiences--capturing a composition of you...for them!

One Life to Live and Hip Hop Abs

One Life to Live:



I heard a comment on the radio today that referred to "One Life to Live". It instantly reminded me of several things:

• The soap opera that premiered on July 15, 1968. I had just completed my junior year of high school in Southern CA.


• The Clairol commercial "If I've one life...let me live it as a blonde!"


• The Dolly Parton quote "I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde."

I'm wondering if I was subconsciously influenced by the Clairol commercial because I've been living life as a blonde for just about two decades. Occasionally, Fred inquires whether or not I will ever return to being a brunette, and I always justify my blondeness by saying, "I don't think so, honey. When the grays start to take over, it's best to go lighter." I don't believe that he's convinced.

The real point is this. I stopped to consider how short this life really is in view of eternity, which is definitely a concept that is tough to grasp sometimes. What we do here and now--every day--does matter. My goal is to hopefully be able to look back and feel that my life made a positive difference for others. I don't want to live my one life feeling angry and frustrated with people whom God has placed in my path, even if their personalities and mine will never gel. (I'm not talking about Fred--this is just an example!) Regardless of how you slice it, life is short--too short not to try to make every day count. Too short not to do things for God's glory rather than our own, tricky as that can be sometimes!

Words of wisdom:

Every day, we're faced with choices. We can make wise decisions....or we can make foolish ones. For instance, as I realized yesterday, choosing to eat a taco while driving and wearing a white top is not a stellar choice. You know that you really want to do it, but you know that if you do, you'll definitely have a mess on your hands. I should have waited. Lesson learned. Hey, maybe I can use that in my new book!

Hip Hop Abs:

For all of you doubters out there, Fred has participated in Hip Hop Abs with me twice. I was very impressed at how he stayed right with the program--with one exception. On the second day, during the middle of the DVD, the telephone rang. Fred made a mad dash for the telephone, announcing, "I'm sure it's for me!" He looked a tad disappointed when the telephone became silent after the one initial ring, and he dejectedly returned to his position in the exercise routine. He's back on the road now, and probably grateful to be far away from Hip Hop Abs!! Beth, thanks for introducing me to DVD exercise. You were my inspiration.

See y'all soon.

Back in Murrells Inlet

I realize that the object of a blog is to try to write an update at least a couple of times each week, but we've been away for ten days and I was unable to place my blog writer's hat on top of my head during that time. I did spend several hours working diligently on my second novel, and a great deal of our flight time was utilized for this purpose. There seems to be something about being confined in a plane with very few distractions that enables me to experience a flow of the creative juices. Perhaps it's the altitude or maybe the inability to use a cell phone during flight. We had an extensive layover in Charlotte, and my little fingers were flying like crazy on the keyboard of my laptop during that time as well. Fortunately, I'm equally creative sitting on the beach, so I don't have to book worldwide travel in order to enjoy progress on this project!

We loved visiting with everyone in New York, where we truly have an amazing group of family and lifelong friends. We enjoyed visiting Grace Fellowship Church in Latham--always a blessing. Special prayers go out for Shawn and Karen regarding their health issues.

I'm speaking at a luncheon tomorrow for a group of ladies on Pawleys Island about writing our stories to pass along to future generations--something I really love to do. I want everyone to understand that you don't have to be a celebrity to write stories about your life that are interesting to someone. Perhaps the general public might not be particularly interested in your story, but most everyone has nieces, nephews, children, grandchildren, or cousins who would enjoy knowing more about you, your life experiences, and some special words of wisdom that you would like to share. You don't have to tell EVERYTHING. You pick and choose what would be beneficial for others to learn about you. Perhaps you have traveled to some fascinating places--destinations that many of your relatives will never see. Write about those unique events. Even if you had a miserable childhood and don't care to re-visit it, you could write about the positive experiences of your lifetime. I try to influence every individual that they have something worthy to impart to others. What would you like for future generations to know about you?

I promise to be far more blog faithful in the months ahead!!

DIVING INTO THE BLOGGING POOL

Many people tell me that I should write a blog so they will be readily updated on the current status of a variety of subjects such as:

• The progress toward completion of my new novel
• The latest on workshops that I'm teaching
• Inspirational tidbits
• Mental meanderings about any subject that pops into my brain

Therefore, with the magic of the internet and the amazing power that it represents, this is my blog debut.

New novel-It is progressing slightly more slowly than I had hoped, but every day is filled with such a variety of time thieves, I don't seem to have the large blocks of uninterrupted time to finalize it. It is totally outlined so I won't lose sight of the direction in which I intend to travel with this story, but I know that when I go to Cape May, NJ to meet my dear friends for our annual Girls' Getaway week in July, I'll be relaxed as I sit in my anti-gravity beach chair and the words will leap rapidly from the section of my brain where they are currently stored directly onto the writing pad in my hand. I'll keep you all posted. The story in the new book will keep you perched right on the edge of your seat--lots of mystery, relationships, romance and a touch of inspiration.

Mental meanderings-Why does it become so difficult to avoid gaining weight as we age? I attempt to harness the extra pounds by eating reasonably nutritiously, exercising, and remaining as generally active as someone who is glued to a computer can possibly be. But it is a continuous battle. Fred and I recently purchased bicycles because we have a lovely area in which to pedal ourselves around the neighborhood after dinner instead of vegetating in front of the television. Fred, however, is not being particularly cooperative about this endeavor because 1-he bought the sports package for cable that enables him to watch his beloved Yankees 2-he insists that he needs a different bicycle seat because he thinks that the one which came with his bike was designed for male torture. If you take a look at his bicycle in about ten years, it will probably appear to be brand new. In view of his reluctance to ride bikes with me, I decided that it would be fun if we tried some other form of exercise together. I succumbed to the temptation of a recent infomercial for Hip Hop Abs, which is a fabulous workout. To date, Fred has not been tempted to participate in this activity with me, but I'm going to keep trying. I'll let you know if I am successful in obtaining his cooperation. Do you think there is any remote ray of hope?

Workshops-I'm still speaking to community groups and holding a June workshop series. Will teach again for Coastal's program in the fall. But I'm also enjoying some editing, as well as some private client family history projects. No wonder my golf game stinks. I'm really busy!

Inspiration-Community Bible Study has ended this month for our summer break. Studying Revelation was a completely amazing experience, and we are looking forward to Genesis in the fall. I've met some wonderful ladies through CBS, and hope to enjoy some lifelong friendships with them. I can only say that I'm blessed to be doing everything in which I am involved, and I don't ever want to hesitate to give God the glory for everything that is accomplished. He is my strength.

So until next time, keep smiling, keep looking at the sky, and try to do something special for someone today!