Hanging Out With Mary Anne Benedetto

Vacation & Never Say Perfect:
Okay, I think that there are people who believe that my entire life is a permanent vacation. Granted, I live where I can be at the beach in ten minutes and play golf 12 months a year, but they don't see the extensive list of my writing projects that are in various stages of completion PLUS another list of project ideas that I haven't even started yet. I don't want to begin another project until some of my works-in-progress are finalized!
I did, however, enjoy a wonderful break in the action by once again participating in our annual Cape May Girls Getaway Week. Some of us have been trekking with beach chairs, sunscreen, bathing suits, and beach towels to Victorian Cape May, NJ for over 20 years. Candy, Mary Ann, and I are originals, with Lori & Dee Dee joining, and then Robin, Calf & Cheryl for the past few years. The beauty is that each individual can do whatever suits them at any given moment without the others being concerned that someone is being moody or not participating. Everyone does their own thing all day long. We all know exactly where to congregate at the beach, so it's very easy to locate our group.
Personally, I love taking long, long walks around Cape May, and I don't usually hit the beach until sometime in the afternoon. On this trip, I took some time to soak in the local color of research for Never Say Perfect, the novel on which I am currently working. Just as in Eyelash, Laina Strickland and her husband, Dan, own a bed & breakfast in charming Cape May. I gathered information on various b & b's, talked to some guests, and also interviewed a woman who had owned a b & b in this location for 30 years. I sat in one b & b and made observations about the decor, furnishings, and atmosphere.
To me, half of the fun of writing a novel is the aspect of research. When we write about a real locale, as opposed to a totally fictitious setting, we want to be as accurate as possible. For instance, in my manuscript draft, Laina has to make a stop at the post office. I knew from several years of walking by that building that there is a sizable parking lot directly behind it, and I had written that was Laina parking there. On closer inspection, I noticed a sign that clearly states that this lot is for employees and official post office vehicles; however, there are a limited number of parking spaces in front of the post office, designated as 15 minute parking. So I've made the adjustment in the scene to have Laina parking out front. You may think that these are immaterial details, but in my own mind, I feel far more comfortable providing accurate information. Anyone familiar with that particular area of Cape May might actually recognize an erroneous reference.
I've always been drawn to research and details and am geared that way, so this is not tedious to me, but very satisfying. One of my favorite college courses was LEGAL RESEARCH! Need I say more?
The editing process for Never Say Perfect continues, including reading a couple of chapters to my husband, Fred, a few times each week. He's great at telling me that a scene needs elaboration or clarification or if something simply doesn't sound logical. My first reaction to his suggestions is usually one that is defensive and I attempt to argue my point, justifying why I wrote it a particular way; however, I digest what he offers and often realize that he does have a valid point, though it is extremely painful to admit such a thing. I actually like the way he challenges me to more closely evaluate what I am writing, rather than just compiling a collection of words and situations, twists and turns.
Never Say Perfect contains a great deal of mystery, and I LOVE to generate surprises in my writing. A huge thank you to my husband of 30 years on 7/19/10 for assisting me with this project!

2011 Memoir Preservation Cruise:
Plans are formulating as we speak for the 2011 Memoir Preservation Cruise!!! Tentatively, we are zeroing in on a departure of 10/1/11 from Baltimore on Royal Caribbean's Enchantment of the Seas for a 5 night cruise to Bermuda. There will be choices of memoir workshops, plus loads of free time. This will be great for people just beginning a memoir project, as well as those who have already started. Plus it will be so much fun to gather everyone together to network and talk about their own projects and experiences. Every time I hold a workshop, I dispense a great deal of information and invariably learn something new from my students! If we don't capture our stories, we take them to the grave........just food for thought. I'll keep posting as additional information is available regarding the cruise and pricing. Plan ahead--it will be a memorable experience.

Inspiration:
In the midst of my crazy, busy existence I want to say that even when I am out of control, God is in control. He is my Source, my Protector, my Guide. Nothing happens in my time and through my wheel spinning efforts, but everything happens in His time and through His faithfulness to us. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 ....Yet another Divine promise.....

See you again soon!

Memorable Moments

In my last post, I wrote about long term friends from whom I had recently heard. I also connected with another friend from my California school days, and her name is Cathi. We were essentially inseparable during our school years, and she was truly like one of our family members. My brother, John, was born when I was 15 years old and my friends considered him quite the novelty at the time. Cathi was right there to give him a bottle when needed, but I don't recall whether or not she was into diaper changing. As 15 year olds, I'd say we thought that was pretty gross and should be left to the parents whenever possible.

I'll never forget the evening my parents broke the news to me that they were expecting. It was quite a shock to me (as well as to them, I believe). They sat me down and told me that Mom was pregnant, but they promised that it wouldn't interfere with my social life. Dad specifically said that I would not be expected to be a built in baby sitter. "Whew!" I thought. "I'm glad to hear that!!" But something magical happened when that little guy was born. I really didn't mind helping with him. I spent many an hour with him cuddled against my neck, as I sat with him in the rocking chair in his nursery, singing sweet little songs to him to help him go to sleep. It turned out to be good training for me because when my own dear son was born when I was twenty, I felt reasonably confident about infant care. I have to laugh because Fred and I sat in Magiquest at Broadway at the Beach last night, chatting with my brother, John, as his three children raced around with their wands--doing whatever it is that kids are doing in there with those wands, and John's patient wife, Amy, was dashing around attempting to keep track of their three children and a nephew! It's rather mind boggling to realize how much time has elapsed since John was that little toddler who was always so curious about what his sister and her friends were doing. He's turned out to be a fine family man and someone that I am proud to call a good friend. And I always love to hear from Cathi.

Cape May was a fabulous time once again this year. The photo at the top of this post is from that location. I was able to produce a great deal of writing for my second novel during the trip. Once I get on a roll with the thoughts and ideas, it just flows so automatically, and hours can fly by. The Cape May Girls are making their bucket lists, naming all of the things that they would like to do before their demise. We're going to produce a booklet with a group photo on the front and individual pages with a photo of the particular person and their bucket list following. I have two participants who haven't yet turned in their bucket lists....I won't mention any names....but I hope they are almost complete. They know that I'll be hounding them before very long. As soon as I finish the three main projects I'm working on right now, I want to tackle the Bucket List booklet! It will be lots of fun to look at these booklets in the future. We had a wonderful week in Cape May, and the time seems to fly. I guess when you are spending so much time doubled over in laughter, the hours tick by quickly.

Okay, I probably shouldn't be blogging this late at night after working most of the day on a client's family history and then working on my book. I'm beginning to get drowsy and there is no telling what I'll write, so I had better sign off for today! God bless you all.

Connecting with Dear Friends

This has been a banner week for connecting with "old" friends. Don't you just love those friends who are a part of your history and although you don't see or hear from them for months or even years, when you finally have the opportunity to chat or visit, the time since your last connection is non-existent? It seems as though you just talked yesterday because you seem to pick up exactly where you left off.

If you have friendships that I just described, you are so blessed. Take a moment to call one of those special connections, and you will be uplifted by a sense of closeness that is punctuated by the unique space of your heart that is occupied by that individual.

This week, I heard from my friend, Janie. We've been friends since childhood, and although she lives in California, we touch base periodically. We'll always feel linked regardless of the miles of separation and the peaks and valleys of life that we have shared via letters, telephone calls, and e-mails. She probably doesn't know that she had a nickname in high school. She was referred to as "Hollywood" because her father was a cameraman for a movie studio and worked with many celebrities including Barbara Streisand. He was such a kind, down-to-earth guy--even though he was well acquainted with many famous people. Anyway, I'll see Janie at our 40th (you must be kidding!) class reunion in October. Our California high school class will be holding this milestone remembrance in Las Vegas, which is always interesting in itself. I hope that lots of the folks from our class will be able to attend, as it's wonderful to be able to catch up.

The other person that I heard from this week from the past was Tony, the funniest guy you'd ever want to know. We've been friends for many years, having become acquainted when Fred and I were big Siena College Basketball fans back in the days when Mike Deane was the incredible coach. Attending the games was something that we thoroughly enjoyed as a winter activity because those winters are cold and long in the Albany, NY area! It turned out, however, that becoming involved in cheering for the Siena team evolved into a cherished social activity that forged some wonderful friendships. Tony was a vital part of that scene in an era that we will never forget! The very best to you, Tony, in your retirement!!

And speaking of friend connections, I'm on my way to Cape May, NJ to meet a fabulous group of girlfriends for a few days of hilarity that we've been sharing for a week in July for almost twenty years. I'm not kidding. The eight of us never stop laughing the whole time we are there, and it's one of the most therapeutic events in my life every year. It's like a week long pajama party with bathing suits. I highly recommend this for other ladies--get a group of friends who are comical, considerate, caring and conversational and plan even a long weekend together. You'll never regret it!! Looking forward to seeing you Cape May Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For those who are working on their lifewriting projects, think back to your most favorite vacation and write about the details of that trip. Include a good, solid description of the location, surroundings, accommodations, activities, travel involved, and what made it so special. Make your readers feel as though they were right there--seeing everything you saw, participating in everything you did (okay, maybe not EVERYTHING!), eating the types of foods that you ate, describing the local culture, and bringing us along the paths that you walked. If you can locate photos from the visit, use those to refresh your memory of the details. Capture the moments!

Happy 4th of July holiday to everyone!!!!!!!!!! God bless and keep you safe this holiday weekend.