Meeting the Family
There is no doubt in my mind that my husband, Fred, was
feeling exceedingly apprehensive. His
commitment was actually a gutsy move, considering he had previously been
engaged three times and could not bring himself to follow through to the point
of saying “I Do” with any of the other ladies to whom he had been
betrothed. Now he had married a young
divorcee with a seven-year-old son. True
love must have distanced him from dwelling on the obvious potential future
difficulties.
Would his step-son grow to love him? Would he be able to live as a good role model
for this child? And what about the new
in-laws that he would instantly inherit, who lived many miles away in a
Southern town, no less, and whom he had yet to meet? Had he, a confirmed bachelor, made the right
decision to marry? He told everyone that
he was only doing this once and that he waited until the right person came
along. Could he adjust to a permanent
partnership?
The New York borne and bred native peered out of the window
of his company car as he, his new wife, and his young son headed South. He managed to maneuver through the frantic
“bob and weave” traffic along the Washington, D. C. beltways well into their
adventurous trip to North Carolina to meet the extended family.
He wondered exactly what his new bride’s Southern family
would be like. Would his new
father-in-law feel that he couldn’t
possibly measure up to the expectations he held for his precious daughter this
second time around for her? Her first
marriage had not survived, and perhaps her father was wondering if this one was
doomed as well. Would he already have
one strike against him just because the other guy couldn’t make her happy?
Her family turned out to be remarkably different from his
own, with her only siblings being represented by an older, stuck-in-the-hippie
era sister, who was residing in communes all over the world, as well as a
significantly younger brother, whose surprise conception currently made him a
whopping twelve years old.
Fred was keenly aware that he was entering territory
commonly referred to as “The Bible Belt,” and he had already been forewarned
that she and her family took the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit very
seriously. Assuming that he should
refrain from smoking or swearing, both of which were second nature to him at
that time, this visit would require concentration on his part in order to avoid
any behavior or language that most people might consider normal, but could
cause his new relatives to cringe and find him reprehensible.
His concerns were quickly allayed when his new in-laws
greeted him with open arms, warm, genuine smiles, and an assurance that he was
sincerely welcomed into the family.
Numerous relatives were introduced to him that week, and he felt certain
that he would never retain all of their names—particularly in view of the fact
that it was likely that his exposure to them would only be an annual event.
As one of her uncles eyed him curiously, the inquisition
began. Uncle Jack was a stoic character
with a dry sense of humor, but their conversation quickly revealed that the two
shared the common passion of golf. At
last, Fred could enjoy some communication with someone with whom he could
totally relate. Then in the midst of a
lengthy dissertation about the condition of a local golf course, the uncle
uttered a word that was less than appropriate!
Whew!! He might be able to relax now after all. These people were going to be reasonably
normal. The fact was that they were all
incredibly friendly and kind, causing him to feel as comfortable as he could
possibly feel. If he could only
understand everything they were saying, it would be easier, however. A waitress at the restaurant where they had
stopped for lunch on the road had asked him if he wanted a yeast roll. He could not determine what she was asking
him. Did she say eastro? Bistro?
He needed an interpreter for what was supposed to be English.
At the end of the day with the relatives, he knew that he
must have made a good impression when the golfing Uncle Jack, enthusiastically
puffing away on a big cigar, pulled the new bride aside and said, “Mary, that
Fred’s really a nice guy…” He hesitated
for a split second and then added his distinct clarification, “for a
Yankee!” The ultimate compliment from
Uncle Jack.
Blessed with an awesome son and daughter-in-law, three amazing grandchildren and the cutest great-grandchild ever, we joyfully celebrate year thirty-six of marriage this year!
Blessings,
Mary Anne Benedetto
Author
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