Your Life Story Matters-Your Questions Answered!

 

 Your Life Story Matters!

Memoir Writing Instructor Answers Your Questions

Every life is made up of stories—some are deliriously happy tales, others are devastatingly sad, and our life experiences represent every imaginable kind of emotion in between. We all have family history and  life stories, and the sad truth is that if we don’t preserve them, they are permanently gone. There is no rewind. There is no going back to capture them.

Follow this series of Questions & Answers over the next few months! Learn more about memoir writing, pick up your pen or grab your keyboard, and produce a written legacy for loved ones. Participate by emailing your memoir writing questions to info@awriterspresence.com.

Let's get started!

Q1. How do I know that my family would read my story if I took the time and effort to write it? Will they even care?

A1. Although I always say that we are preserving our stories for future generations, there are no guarantees that when you hand a copy of your memoirs over to loved ones, they will be leaping for joy.

I remember many years ago when I was in my thirties, my dad’s sister, Ruth, wrote several pages of family history. I was given a copy of her compilation, read it with vague interest, promptly placed it in a large envelope, and tucked it away for safe keeping.

It was not until I was in my fifties that I finally understood the full impact of being in possession of the stories she had written and the information they contained. Years later, the family history that she shared is my treasure. I finally appreciated the time and effort it took for her to provide some of the details and stories that I would never have known had she not undertaken this project on an old manual typewriter.

Do not be discouraged if family members initially appear to be less than enthusiastic about the stories you choose to write regarding your life experiences and family history. Some day down the road, they will so greatly value being able to review the highlights of your life, the incidents that you considered important enough to include, and an introduction to ancestors with whom they were perhaps never acquainted.

Your stories are a priceless legacy. Begin your memoir writing project today!

Mary Anne Benedetto is the owner of A Writer’s Presence, LLC, a writer, speaker, blogger, Certified Lifewriting Instructor, and an affiliate teacher with the The Memoir Network.  Author of  7 Easy Steps to Memoir Writing: Build a Priceless Legacy One Story at a Time!, she offers beneficial tips, hints and critical steps in memoir writing in order to remove the “overwhelmed” factor in memoir projects. Book available on Amazon, Kindle and Nook.

 

 

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Volunteering = Journey to Discovery

Rochelle Pines bubbles over with contagious enthusiasm. I first met her a few years ago when I was teaching a six week memoir writing series at a sparkling, new recreation center in Pawleys Island, SC. As we met each week, Rochelle’s stories were particularly memorable because she has overcome multiple major challenges in life and yet possesses a positive outlook and burning desire to help others.

Making a connection with a writer of retiree age in this workshop group, Rochelle was introduced to the Activities Director at a local Assisted Living facility. She knew that she had a beneficial gift to offer the residents of the memory care unit and eagerly agreed to brighten the days of these folks with her own program of music therapy.

She knew from previous experience that music transcends all barriers of gender, education level, race and age. Rochelle explains exactly how she discovered this gift: “It all started in New York.  I had some health problems. My sister-in-law happened to be the Administrator at an Assisted Living in the Bronx and suggested that I live there for a while and get the support I needed at the time. I was in my late fifties and fully alert, so I was somewhat bored and looking for something to do. I spoke with the Activities Director and asked her if I could play some CDs for the residents.

What I know now is that there are thousands of articles out there about the benefits of music on dementia and Alzheimer’s patients.

This is what happened:  I would have a group of forty-five residents with half of them not even knowing their own names.When we started, they were all droopy and just sitting there. Once I started the music, the room would come alive. I started to collect music they would recognize since it was an older population – music from the 30s, the 40s, the 50s – Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Broadway show music. By the time the forty-five minutes had passed and we had to go to lunch, the group was singing and didn’t even want to go to lunch because they were having such a good time!”

So Rochelle brought this activity to the memory care unit at Lakes of Litchfield and blessed them with the same type of program. She describes her “gig” in this manner: “The group and I – now usually less than ten people – always start off by singing, ‘God Bless America’ acapella. This is funny because I don’t have a good voice. My friend, who is a musician, has told me that my voice is only slightly “off” and a few singing lessons would help a lot. The singing lessons are on my wish list.

Then I start to do my “DJ gig” – Frank Sinatra – I sing and dance to, “That’s Life” (a song about me and my life). Then I play Dean Martin’s “Volare” for Anna who is Italian, grew up in Little Italy, and lived on Mulberry St. I got some background information from a daughter-in-law who told me that Anna has had a stroke and has suffered brain damage.

From there I go to Broadway music.We are having fun – I’m walking about the room, making eye contact with each resident in attendance, giving them a handshake, a little hug and a, “God bless you.”

They need the upbeat music, the smiles, the warmth. I even wear my upbeat, bright Woodstock t-shirt!

One resident obviously knows the words to the Broadway music. Her younger sister visited one day and shared that her sister and her husband frequently went to Manhattan to the shows.

I added Andrea Boccelli, even though it wasn’t music that they would recognize.  Bonnie cries every week when she hears this music – it simply touches her soul. I’ve noticed that this resident is losing her eyesight, so her sense of hearing is heightened now due to her loss of sight.

As I’m unplugging my CD player and picking up my bags we sing, ‘God Bless America’ once again. I walk out reassuring them that, “I’ll return next week, have no doubt. God bless you!”

As I leave I just wonder, who gets more out of these sessions – the residents or myself? Volunteer, volunteer, volunteer.”  

Rochelle exemplifies what volunteerism is all about. It embodies taking your own life experiences, passions, skills and time to benefit someone else. Volunteers do not seek monetary compensation, but ultimately significantly benefit from their “gigs.” The inherent satisfaction to the soul in helping others is the greatest reward ever.

Want to feel the exhilaration that emanates from giving back to the community? Volunteer. The experience will produce an uncontrollable smile that dominates your face.

I am hoping to be blogging more in the near future. Life has just been wildly hectic and has kept me hopping! See you soon...

Mary Anne Benedetto,

Author/Speaker

                                      Visit http://www.awriterspresence.com!